singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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