so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
