Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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