Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize