im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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