i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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