And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
