Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
