Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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