I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just pee around me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
