JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
