Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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