Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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