is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
