There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
