Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Michael Bay diarrhea
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
