I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
