I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
