No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
