Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
