roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
