omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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