nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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