I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is the high leading the old right now
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
