she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
