K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
