i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
