I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
