are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
