theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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