You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
