my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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