Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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