Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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