Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
