You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
