Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
