alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
