So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i think i just lost a toe
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
