I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
