Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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