I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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