sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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