I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
