found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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