Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
