Got a toothbrush?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
