i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
