no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize