I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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