I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize