Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
