We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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