I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
