yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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