M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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