We should be called the Road Head Warriors
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
