she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
