Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
