I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
