He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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