I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
