so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize