Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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