If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
