i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
