Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize