You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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