New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize