We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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