So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
