Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
