He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
