Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pants are for mortals
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
